W-O-W.

It's weird to be going to school at good ol' BYU like always, but then think holy cow, I'm getting married in less than two months. But then I think that even after I'm married I'll still be going to good ol' BYU like always. So then I think I am in this weird life limbo where even though I'll be making the big, huge life choice I also try to remember that life will probably continue somewhat normally post-marriage only that Matt won't have to go home to his house every night and we'll get to eat breakfast together sometimes. That part--the Matt being around more of the time part--seems to justify making the big, huge life leap. Marriage. W-O-W.

That being said I sometimes handle being engaged pretty normally, but also sometimes I freak about it in both the oh-my-gosh-this-is-so-scary and the oh-my-gosh-this-is-so-exciting ways. Basically there are a lot of mood swings a-going on and Matt's virtue of patience (while definitely a pre-engagement quality) gets to  be refined with fire. Lucky boy.

Wedding planning has gone (thus far) pretty smoothly because we have a lot of wonderful people in our lives who know much more than we do about the art of wedding planning and marriage preparation. We have  wonderful parents who are backing this whole shin-dig, my Mom lets me call her whenever I want so I can give her wedding assignments and she can give me emotional stability. I have wonderful grad school friends like Marinda and Laura who let me go on and on about wedding stuff but who also give me wonderful advice on how to find a thesis chair and proffer theories on why Walter Scott's The Heart of Midlothian was a bestseller. My bestie Grace lets me borrow her sister to take engagement pictures (for free! Thank you Kristi!) and lets me talk to herself (Grace) about all my fears and hopes. And that's the best, because the very reason you have a bestie is because they know your whole entire relationship/life history so you don't have to explain very much about anything and can just talk and eat good food and just understand life and all its varied frustrations and goodnesses. And then there's my lovely Grandma who I talk to for hours-on-end. And my super-talented friend Claire who is designing our wedding invitations pro bono with mad skillz and I love her and her illustrations of the Bountiful temple so, so much. And I just love all the lovely people in my life (where do they all come from?) And I love R.E.M. and Coldplay and the Beatles because they just get my life right now. They put a man on the moon? Norwegian wood is good? Yes.

Yesterday Matt and I were driving home to Provo from an absolutely lovely Saturday spent in Layton (discounted wedding cakes, pork tacos, high-school productions of Curtain anyone?) and it was just one of those happy, happy times when the capacity to feel happiness and peace is tremendous-fold and it was all I could do to soak up that very, very good life moment with big, deep breaths. Because right then it was the best thing ever to hold Matt's hand and kiss him at every red stoplight. Because we're getting married and we love each other and because we live in a beautiful world. Yeah we do, yeah we do.

I love the people who help me love life.